Self-Proclaimed ‘Activist’ Wears Hemp Clothes He Bought From Amazon

In what experts are calling the “epitome of millennial activism,” local man Brett Robinson has proudly announced that his new outfit made of eco-friendly hemp comes courtesy of Amazon.​ Robinson, who describes himself as an “eco-conscious empath,” says the purchase marks a new era in his sustainability journey. One that involves a Prime membership and a dedication to saving the planet without ever leaving the couch.

A friend of his noted his commitment, “He really cares about the environment. He even bought all new sustainable clothes to replace his old unsustainable ones.” Another friend described Robinson as, “[Long pause] Passionate. I guess.”

Robinson's activism, which includes posting “THIS.” under climate-related TikToks and watching Cowspiracy on repeat, believes that every day people can make a difference. “We can help save the Earth one purchase at a time.” said Robinson while lighting white sage he also purchased from the retail giant. “As of last week, I’m making an effort to only buy things that are sustainable, which is why I got these hemp clothes and sage. It’s all about being mindful, you know?”

The outfit, which arrived in a box large enough to comfortably house moo deng, was wrapped in three layers of plastic. Robinson admits this was “not ideal,” but insists he plans to reuse the packaging “probably for something spiritual.”

He explained that his Amazon Prime membership allows him to “get items faster which means you get to be sustainable faster- if you think about it”.

Next week he’ll be launching a new podcast about ethical shopping and “being the change.” He says it’ll be low-impact, just him and a microphone. “Maybe some light editing. Nothing that will create a lot of waste.”